When two people are together and they have the conscious idea of using their relationship to wake up, then they need to be generous with each other. They need to be willing to allow each other to have their faults and not continually go into a power struggle over them. Many theorists say that “the power struggle” is one of the normal stages of development for couples, but I have found that being able to have some awareness of your own patterns, so you know when you’re getting triggered, can make it a lot easier to go through the inevitable glitches that occur when you are in an intimate process with someone. (more…)

If you’re a man who’s interested in being awake and a woman’s eggs grabs a hold of you, then you just have to bow down to the divine mother and let her have her way with you. For she will take you and you will run down the rapids of life and at some point she will spit you out into some calm water or on a beach somewhere and you will catch your breath and look around and realize that 5 or 8 or 10 years have gone by. And if your desire to wake up has come with you into your being a dad, then you will have learned something about being a father to your children and a partner to your wife. And you will have been changed.
This new dawning may look a bit like David Byne’s out-cry “This is not my beautiful wife, this is not my beautiful house!” but the fact is that it is, as are the children. They’re yours as much as your self/ego is yours. And so now, with that new awakening, you may seek to claim your family lightly, just as you wear your self lightly, like a suit of well tailored clothes. You go on and you allow God/dess to find expression through you and your wife and your children. You pick up your practice and you carry on the work of awakening.

I got in touch with the depth of the grief today about cutting the connection with the land we had owned in California. I had been feeling in something of a daze the last few days since escrow closed, and I knew in vague terms that it was about the land belonging to somebody else now. I was thinking that it’s not mine anymore, and that I have no more connection to it, other than my memories. A friend pointed out that there’s actually still more going on than that, and that it would be a good idea to catalog the wealth that did accrue while there.

We owned 49 acres and our parcel was part of a 1200 acre subdivision in a canyon that had redwood and doug fir on the north side and many varieties of oak, madrone, buckeye and bay on the south. There was a 10 acre lake in the center of the subdivision that was community property for everyone to enjoy. The water was always cool and fresh even through the long, hot, dry summers.

We lived off the grid. (more…)

Much of the work I’ve been doing with men lately has been touching on how they feel out of balance in their lives. For some, it’s about spending too much time at work and not enough time at play or recreation. For others, it’s about too much time in their heads and not enough time in a more sensual or body-centered relationship to life. The health practitioners spend too much time giving and not enough time being nurtured in turn.

When we are caught up in our lives, it often seems that it’s all we can do to get from sunup to sundown with some degree of grace. (more…)

The Ocean, the formlessness that underlies all forms, is the place of fearlessness and eternity. . If you fall down to this ground (of being) then you don’t have to fear falling further. If you are in touch with that ground then the forms of your life, (your family, your work situation, your body) can go through their necessary transformations to come into a deeper balance, without you having to get caught in contraction and fear. This is ecstatic release. OUCH! (more…)

Two of the clients I saw yesterday were talking about frustrations they were experiencing in their lives. Not happy with work situations, relationships, or ways of being in the world. The tendency when you get clear that something isn’t working in your life is to immediately do something to try to fix it. Anything. Especially if there’s emotional pain tied in with the behavior. The problem with this reactive process is that you often wind up creating some other situation that you’re equally unhappy with. It may look different for a while, but eventually you’re going to find that it’s not really an improvement.

That’s why I almost always recommend small changes. As a matter of fact, what I typically recommend is making no changes at all for a while. (more…)

In the last entry I mentioned briefly the coming of 2012 and how I see that as an anchor in time that serves to orient and accelerate the work of transformation and awakening-both on the individual and collective level. It seems important to say that I don’t subscribe to the Armageddon theory. The Last Days, The end of the World, The Rapture, etc. These are all literal descriptions of an event which I see as being energetic and metaphoric. Perhaps it’s because I ‘ve lived through 1984, “The Day After”, The Harmonic Convergence, Y2K, etc. I don’t think we’re going to get off that easy. I think that if we want transformation, we’re going to have to go towards it in the same way it’s always worked; hard, focussed effort, one bucketful at a time. That’s the way I’ve experienced my personal openings, and that’s the way I see transformation occuring on a social and global scale. It’s not that I don’t experience Grace occuring in my own life or in larger arenas, but I believe that the way is paved for that Grace to occur by the thoughts and actions that preceded it. (more…)

Welcome to Tom’s blog.

I imagine many of you know me and have been waiting with baited breath for this site to get up and running so you could read my blog, and many of you don’t know me but have found your way here via various channels.
My intention with this blog is to be a voice for awakening on the planet in 2010. I.E. Now. I want it to be a vehicle for the various streams of this soul to find expression, and I’m hoping to generate conversation and support the calling forth in you, my readers, of the deep places inside of you, That soul place, that wants to discover itself through sharing it’s Truth with others. (more…)